14. STRAINED RELATIONS.
i) As described earlier, the object of marriage is to lead a life full of love and tranquillity; thus a careful selection of partners is an utmost necessity. Yet circumstances may arise when mutual relations become strained. In some events unpleasantness may be temporary, owing to tempers being volatile; for example, a person, while angry, begins to talk absurdly or on account of ignorance, calls his wife "mother", or anything like that; this is termed "Zihaar" in technical terms; and when the rage cools down he feels ashamed. The Quran says that such foolish talk an oaths should not be taken seriously. (2:225) "Allah Almighty will not call you to account for absurd oaths, but you will be accountable for such oaths that are taken with the intention of your hearts. (Also 5:89) By calling your wife 'mother', she does not actually become your mother: (33:4) "Nor has He made your wives, when you express so by 'Zihaar', your mothers". Such foolish behaviour makes family atmosphere venomous. The Quran, therefore, considers it necessary to penalise such behaviour. In such cases before the resumption of sexual relations, the Quran ordains (a) freeing a slave (this relates to the period when slaves were present); (b) if slaves are not found, fasting for two months; (c) if one lacks endurance (for fasting for two months), them feeding sixty indigents. In Surah 'Mujaadilah' it is said: (58:3-4) "But those who call their wives mothers (or something like that), then wish to go back on the words they had uttered, (it is ordained that such a one should free a slave, before they copulate. To this you are exhorted; and Allah Almighty is well acquainted with (all) that you do. And if anyone who has not the means, he should fast for two months consecutively, before he copulates. But if one is unable to do even that, he should feed sixty indigent ones: this is to ensure that you do profess (Eemaan), a firm belief in the Divine System which has been established by the Rasoole."
It is essential for a believer to keep himself bound by the limits laid down by Allah. (In case one makes a mistake, its compensation lies in the steps described above). But the people who reject these limits are non-believers and there is a tormenting chastisement for them.
ii) The above relates to absurd oaths while in a state of anger. But if someone willfully takes an oath, not to go to his wife (the term EELA is used for it in Arabic). Such a state cannot be allowed to continue indefinitely. The Quran has ordained that such a person should decide within four months whether he wants to keep his wife in wedlock or not: (2:226-227) "For those who take an oath of abstention from their wives, a waiting period of four months is ordained (because a woman cannot be left in this condition for an unlimited period). If then they return (to their ordinary life), they are allowed, because a room has been left for forgiveness and protection in such falterings [(95:89); (33:4); (58:3)]; i.e. like penalty for breaking an oath. But if their intention is firm for divorce, they should proceed in accordance with the Divine Law, which is from Allah Almighty Who is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. He knows that separation is the better course in such cases."
An Islamic state can formulate necessary laws for those who do not want to keep their wives with them or for those whose whereabouts become unknown. The aim is to provide protection to the rights of a woman and not to leave her entirely at the mercy of her husband.
15. DIVORCE.
'Nikaah' is a contract between a sensible and mature man and woman to lead a married life. The Quran provides such instructions under which this contract is fulfilled with beauty and proportion, because the social life of a nation depends on agreeable and favourable environments within the home itself. This forms the basis for the proper up-bringing of a nation. But if in spite of all that, occasion arises when it becomes impossible for them to live together, the Quran allows separation, after the dissolution of the contract of marriage. This act is called Divorce. (Keep in mind this meaning of the word divorce). The case of marriage was left to the mutual consent of both parties on account of its being a personal affair, but the dissolution of marriage remains no more a personal affair because it affects the opposite party as well as their offsprings in most cases. Thus it becomes a collective society affair, for which instructions have been laid down by the Quran. There is one thing in this case which is important and which needs clarification: whereas mutual discretion of both parties was essential for marriage, as such the dissolution of marriage cannot take place by the consent of one party alone. The husband cannot be allowed to declare "Divorce, Divorce, Divorce" of his own free will whenever he so likes and turn his wife out from the house; while on the other hand the other party (wife) be made so helpless that she is compelled to bear many hardships in order to be able to get rid of this commitment. The Quran has ordained equal rights and obligations for a husband and a wife; their position is equal in this respect also. Let us look at the instructions it gives to society. It says: (4:35) "If you fear a breach between them (the couple), the concerned authority should constitute a board of arbitration consisting of two members, one from his family and the other from hers. Thus if the husband and the wife make up their minds for reconciliation, the two arbiters should attempt to bring them close to each other. The Divine Law shall bring about reconciliation because the law is based on Allah's Knowledge, Who is acquainted with all things."
The term includes both man and woman. The complainant may be the man or the woman; in both cases it is the duty of society to appoint an arbitration board.
If the woman feels an excess or disinclination from her husband, even then they try to patch up their differences amongst themselves or ask for a board of arbitration to be appointed. Thus it said: (4:128) "And if a woman fears ill-usage from her husband or desertion, no blame is on them if they effect a reconciliation between them for amicable settlement is always good", (or otherwise ask for the appointment of a board of arbitration).
In Surah 'Al-Mujaadilah' (58th Chapter of the Quran) it is said: (58:1)
"Allah Almighty has indeed heard the woman who was disputing with you concerning her husband, and complaining to Allah Almighty (about the maltreatment she was receiving at the hands of her husband) and Allah Almighty was hearing the contentions of both of you. Surely Allah Almighty hears and sees (all things)."
This also makes it clear that a woman can take her case to a court of law and has full right to apply for divorce; however, the first priority of the court of arbitration shall be to bring about reconciliation between them.
Remember, the Quran has used the term "Talaaq" (Divorce) both in respect of the husband and the wife. The term "Khul'ah" (divorce obtained by a wife against a ransom by herself or through an attorney) is nowhere to be found in the Quran. Moreover, when it is said that a husband has delegated his right of divorce to his wife this is not correct; according to the Holy Quran because husband and wife have equal rights of divorce. Delegating the right of divorce by husband ("Tafweez" in juristic terminology) makes no sense.
If reconciliation cannot be brought about, the court which has convened the board of arbitration shall declare dissolution of marriage. This shall be known as Divorce. It is said in Surah At-Talaaq (65th Chapter of the Quran): (65:1) "O Rasoole! When you pronounce decisions on divorce cases, tell the people concerned that after this (the divorce) the issue of 'counting period' (Iddat) is a matter of great importance and must be completed."
The Rasoole has been addressed in the verse (65:1) by the words : "When you divorce women". Here the word used is "Tallaqtum" which is plural. Thus the matter does not concern the divorce of any wife of the Rasoole himself. Such a question never arose. As a matter of fact it is the status of the Rasoole as a judge that is being addressed. Thus the word "Tallaqtum" means: "When you decide the divorce cases of women". It makes clear that divorce is not an individual affair allowing a man to divorce his wife any time he likes. Such decisions shall only be announced by duly authorised courts. The court first appoints a board of arbitration and if reconciliation fails, then it decrees the divorce.
Because the calculation of the period of Iddat defends upon the number of menstrual periods, the execution of divorce ought to take place after the last menstrual period is over. In the above said verse (65:1) after the words come the words meaning 'to count (accurately)'. The court shall make this point clear in its decision.
If the court finds that the husband does not want a reconciliation, it shall grant a divorce, without taking anything back (of the dower money) from the wife. It is thus said in Surah An-Nisa (4th Chapter of the Quran): (4:20-21)
"If you intend to take another woman in place of your present wife (it does, in no way, mean that the desire to bring in a new wife can become a reason for divorce ___ it only means that if, according to the conditions laid down which were mentioned earlier _ the matter reaches the stage of divorce) and you have given the latter a whole treasure (heap of gold) as dower, you should not take back even a portion of it. (However, if the demand for a divorce was initiated by the wife (2:229) or the wife is guilty of immodesty (4:19), a part can be retrieved from her. In case no such conditions prevail, then you should not slander her or accuse her of open wrong in order to compel her to surrender a part of her dower. How can you do such a thing when your wives have taken a solemn covenant from you, and you also have enjoyed marital relations with each other."
But if the woman is guilty of a shameful act which leads to adultery or fornication, then: (4:19) "It is not lawful for you to try to detain them forcibly so that you may fraudulently take away part of the dower that you have given them, except when they have been guilty of open immodesty."
Or if she herself is unwilling to live with her husband, the court can order some compensation to be paid to the husband. (2:229) "(In case of dissolution of marriage), it is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when a situation arises that this money is blocking the way to the finalisation of divorce; and on the other hand on account of strained relations, in case of the continuation of their marital relationship both parties fear that they would not be able to safeguard the limits ordained by Allah Almighty (in faithfully discharging their obligations) and the society's judicial system also reaches the same conclusion, there is no blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom from the bonds of marriage."
Such conditions may arise that a woman gets married with ill intentions, and having received the dower money, takes steps to seek divorce. In such cases, forgiving a part of the dower shall serve as a deterrent against such nefarious designs.
After the court declares divorce, the period of 'Iddat' shall begin. 'Iddat' means the prescribed period before the end of which the woman cannot marry again (Details are given under the heading 'Iddat'). It may be termed as "waiting period". During this period (of Iddat), the divorced woman shall continue to reside in her ex-husband's house and he is responsible of her maintenance. What the Quran has said further, in this regard, needs careful attention. It is said in Surah At-Talaaq (65th Chapter of the Quran): (65:2)
"Then when they (the divorced women) complete their appointed term, either take them back in the recognised manner or part from them according to the law."
In Surah 'Al-Baqara' (2nd Chapter of the Quran) It is said: (2:229) "After that either keep them according to the law or separate them with benevolence."
Again it is said: (2:228) "And their husbands have a better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation."
It is apparent from the above that during the period of 'Iddat' a chance is given to rebuild the marital relationships. This clarifies two issues:
(a) If the wife is the one to initiate the divorce, then this means she does not want to live with her husband and he then cannot keep her back forcibly. However it is a different thing if she changes her mind.
(b) If it is the husband who initiates the divorce, although she wants to live with him, the relationship can be re-established if he changes his mind. In such an event, the Quran has warned the husband not to keep the wife back with the intention of vexing her: (2:231) "Do not take them back with the intention of causing them harm or to transgress the limits (imposed by Allah). If any one does so, he only wrongs his own self."
The question now arises: is a renewal of the contract of marriage needed, or the previous contract shall be considered sufficient In this respect the Quran has used the term "Bil-ma'roof" which means a procedure recognised by the Islamic Society in the light of the Quranic Guidance. Thus if the Islamic Society thinks that a renewal of the contract of marriage is unnecessary, it shall be the correct decision. And if it decides that a renewal is called for, that too shall be a correct decision. After all, 'Nikaah' (the contract of marriage) is nothing more than the recognition of the consent of a husband and his wife. However, in verse (2:232) the Quran has used the word 'Nikaah', when it is said: (2:232) "When you divorce women, and they are near the completion of the term of their 'Iddat' and both man and the wife are desirous to resume their matrimonial life, O Members of the society! Do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands, if they mutually agree.
Here again the world "Bil-ma'roof" is used: which means 'according to the way recognised by the system of the state'. However, the government ought to keep it in mind that the renewal of marriage during the period of 'Iddat' ought to be carried out in a way which may be considered a contract of marriage.
If they have made up their minds to live together again, it shall be carried out according to the above procedure; but if they decide on separation, two witnesses shall be required: (52:2) "Then, when they approach the end of the term appointed (look at the whole issue in a cool, dispassionate manner and if constancy appears possible, why resort to separation). Get united in a recognised manner; (but if constancy is not possible), part from them on the recognised terms: and take for witness two persons from among you imbued with justice i.e. those who are not inclined to any one party, and establish evidence as a duty ordained by Allah."
After this the facilities available to them (the women) in the period of 'Iddat' shall come to an end.
Thus the husband and the wife may reunite during the period of 'Iddat' or may get separated. This shall be counted as ONE DIVORCE.
If this couple again becomes husband and wife (during or after the period of 'Iddat') but again decide to separate, its procedure shall be the same as described above. This shall be the SECOND divorce.
After this second divorce if they once again decide reunion but this also results in THIRD divorce, they cannot become husband and wife again, neither during the period of 'Iddat', nor any time thereafter because: (2:229)
"A divorce is only permissible twice; after that the parties should either hold together on the recognised terms or separate with kindness."
That is, after the third divorce, remarriage is not permissible.
However, if after the third divorce the woman gets married to some other person but here also the union ends in divorce (or if she becomes a widow), she can again establish the contract of marriage with the first husband. This has been explained as such in the verses (2:229) and (2:230) (2:229-230)
"Remember! During the married life of a husband and wife, it is possible only twice to either hold together on the recognised terms or separate with kindness. [But if the divorce between them takes place the third time, they shall not be able to remarry _ (2:230)] In case of dissolution of marriage, you are not permitted to take back anything of what you have given to the wife. However, if an occasion arises that this very factor becomes an impediment in the way of dissolution of marriage and at the same time there is an apprehension that in case of living together as husband and wife they shall not be able to keep the limits laid down by the Divine Law, on account of their deranged relations; and also the society's system of justice reaches the same conclusion that the husband ought to get some recompense, in that case there is no harm that the wife may agree to forego a part of what is rightfully hers and get herself rid of the martial contract. These are the limits imposed by Allah; do not transgress them, and whosoever does so, would be held guilty by the Divine Order.
"So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably) he cannot, after that, remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case, there is no blame on either of them, if they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes plain to those who possess the knowledge of the exigencies of social life."
These are the verses which are produced as an evidence to prove that if somebody says 'Divorce, Divorce, Divorce', three times, they shall have to go through the process of 'Halaalah'. This interpretation of the above verse is against the Quran. As explained earlier, divorce means freedom from the contract of marriage. The dissolution of marriage can take place only by following the details described above. Divorce does not become valid by the verbal utterance of the word 'Divorce' whether it is repeated once, thrice or a hundred times. Three divorces mean the dissolution of Nikaah between a husband and his wife, three times during their married life spread over a period of time. After two dissolutions there still remains a chance for reunion; but after the third dissolution there is no chance: it is final, except under the condition described above. Even in that case marriage with another husband does not mean sexual intercourse for one night (Halaalah); it means to live the life of a husband and wife in a regular normal way.
As it has been said earlier, the dower ought to be paid during the process of marriage contract. But if the wife ha postponed its receipt for a later period, it shall now become an urgent recovery after the dissolution of the marriage. (See heading 'Dower')
16. WAITING PERIOD FOR A DIVORCEE (IDDAT).
(a) 'Iddat' is the name given to a period in which a divorced woman or a widow cannot remarry. In fact it is meant to make sure if she is pregnant; and in case of pregnancy, the would-be child shall be the legitimate offspring of the former husband. There is no 'Iddat' for man. The Quran says: (2:228)"Women have the right relative to their obligations, but men have an advantage over them". The advantage is that there is no 'Iddat' for man. He can marry another woman immediately after divorce.
b) The 'Iddat' for a divorced woman is three menstrual periods (2:228). The divorce comes into effect after the menstrual period comes to an end. This is for the sake of certainty in the counting of 'Iddat' (65:1).
c) For old women who have reached menopause or for those who do not menstruate on account of a disease, 'Iddat' shall be three months:(65:4)
[As stated in verse (2:228) __ the period of Iddat, normally, is three menstruations, but] "such of your women as have attained the age of menopause, for them the prescribed period is three months; and for those who have no courses, (on account of disease) it is the same".
d) 'Iddat' for a pregnant woman is until the termination of pregnancy. (65:4) "For those who are pregnant, 'Iddat' is until they deliver (their burdens)." They should declare, in the event of divorce, that they are pregnant: (2:228) "Nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah Almighty has created in their wombs."
e) There is no 'Iddat' for a woman who is divorced before sexual intercourse: (33:49) "O You who believe! When you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, it is not required of you to count the Iddat in respect of them (during which period the responsibility of their sustenance lies with you and the women cannot marry any other husband), so give them suitable provision and part from them in a goodly manner". [Marriage is a contract. When you find it difficult to carry out the contract, end it in a lawful manner. There is no need to create bitterness __ (2:228-236); (65:1-4)].
f) 'Iddat' for a widow is four months and ten days. (2:234)
"If any of you dies and leaves his widows behind, they shall wait for four months and ten days (for second marriage). When the 'Iddat' ends, they are free to make a decision about themselves according to law. They have the right to do so. There shall be no blame on them that they have done this way or that way. Remember, Allah Almighty knows all that you do."
In case she is pregnant, there is no separate injunction in the Quran for it. But it can be deduced from the injunctions regarding divorced (pregnant) women, that their Iddat shall also be until they give birth.
g) During the period of 'Iddat' the responsiblity for providing daily requirements and shelter shall be on the man and its standard shall be the same as during normal life. It is said in Surah At-Talaaq (65th Chapter of the Quran): [(65:6-7); (2:241)] "Let the women live (during 'Iddat' period) in the same style as you live, according to your means; annoy them not so as to tease them. And if they are pregnant, you have to provide their sustenance until their delivery, and if they suckle your (offspring) for your sake [i.e., if you cannot make any arrangement for the suckling and by mutual consent it is settled that she herself shall suckle], give them their due recompense, and enjoin one another to do good; and if you disagree, another will suckle for him."
In determining the scope of providing sustenance to divorcees or compensation for suckling, be considerate of the financial status of the husband. Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah Almighty has given him. Allah Almighty puts no burden on any person beyond what he has been given. If a difficulty arises for the man on account of the extra expenses, a relief can be obtained according to the Divine Law. (The court shall keep this in view).
But if during this period the woman commits an act of immodesty, the man then, is no more responsible. (65:1) "O Nabi! When you decide the cases of divorce, tell the people that the matter of 'Iddat' is of great importance. It must be accomplished adequately. For this, it is necessary that an accurate count of the prescribed period be kept, so as to submit totally to the injunctions laid down by your Sustainer (2:228-236; 33-49). During this period do not turn out the divorced women from your houses (65:2)."
During the period of 'Iddat' these are still their own homes. Nor shall they (themselves) leave without a proper excuse. However, in case they are guilty of some open immodesty, they can be turned out of the house. These are the limits laid down by Allah, and any one who transgresses the limits of Allah, besides doing wrong to others, he also wrongs his own self.
As stated above, the woman should not leave home and go to some other place during Iddat. But if conditions are not favourable to stay there, she can stay at some other place by permission of the court. This is our deduction from the Quranic verse, in which it is said: (4:130) "And if they separate, Allah Almighty will render them both free from want out of His ampleness". Allah Almighty shall make arrangement for the fulfillment of their needs, i.e. the society (established under the Divine Order) shall shoulder this responsibility.
h) For one year's provision of daily needs and residence, the husband should leave a testament. But if before this, the widow leaves, of her own choice to some other place, this responsibility (of the late husband) comes to an end: (2:240) "Those of you who die and leave widows, should make a bequest for their widows for a year's maintenance and residence, but if they leave (the residence) of their own and make some other arrangement for themselves according to the law, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves. Remember! The Divine Law is exalted in power and is based on wisdom."
i) During 'Iddat' a widow is not allowed to marry another person but there is no restriction on discussing the possibility of marriage in the meantime: (2:235) "There is no blame on you if you make an offer of betrothal or hold it in your hearts. Allah Almighty knows that you would fancy to marry them: but do not take any hidden promise of marriage from them, negotiate with them in a recognised manner, but do not resolve on marriage during the period of Iddat: and always remain conscious of the fact that Allah Almighty is aware of the ideas that flash across your mind. You should know that Allah Almighty does not want to inflict any hardship on you by means of these limitations. The object of these restrictions is to protect your society from the injuries of wrong attitudes. He does not get angry by your mistakes, so as to entangle you in strict laws. This is done by tyrant rulers, not by Allah.
If (during 'Iddat' or afterwards) a woman intends to re-marry her former husband, do not stand in her way: (2:232) "When you divorce women and they are nearing the completion of their Iddat do not prevent them form marrying their former husbands if they mutually agree to do so in the recognised manner."
Note: This does not apply after the third divorce).
17 . SUCKLING .
The Holy Quran does not specify the period during which the mother should suckle the child. The husband and the wife can mutually take a decision subject to the requirements of the child's health. However, the Quran has said that it takes two and a half years for a mother to keep the foetus in her womb followed by the suckling of the child. (46:15) "We have enjoined upon man to be gracious to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is a period of thirty months."
Even animals take part in the upbringing of their offsprings; but later on, their grown up offsprings do not even recognise their parents. Thus the man is asked to rise above the animal level during his life. "One of the demands of human life is that he should treat his parents with benevolence. His mother bore him and gave him birth with difficulty which she experienced day and night. This continued not for a day or two but it took at least thirty months from pregnancy to weaning. [(2:233); (13:14)].
At another place the suckling period is described as two years: (31:14) As regards a divorced woman who carries a child in her lap, the Quran says:
i) The father of the child shall give the mother recompense for suckling the child. (65:6) "And if they suckle the offspring for you, give them their recompense and take mutual counsel together according to what is just and reasonable. If any of you feels that the arrangement is heavy on him/her, arrange for some other woman to suckle the child."
ii). Though the period of suckling is two years, but if by mutual consent they want to reduce this period they are allowed to do so.
During the period of suckling, the expenses of food and clothing shall be provided for the woman by the father of the child. The standard of this maintenance shall be according to the financial position of the father. For so doing, it ought to be kept in mind that neither the father nor the mother are put in to difficulty for the sake of their child. If it is thought advisable that the suckling be given by some other woman in place of the mother, it is permitted: (2:233) "If, in the case of a divorce the wife is suckling a child, the mothers should give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on the prescribed terms. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. (The court ought to keep this mind): the mother shall neither be treated unfairly on account of her child nor the father. (If however, the father dies in the meanwhile), his heir shall be incharge in the same way as had been decided by both of them. On the matter of weaning; if you both agree on premature weaning and make alternative arrangements, there is no blame on them provided the husband pays the settled compensation to the mother."
(Anyhow) you should always adhere to the Divine Law and keep this reality in mind that Allah's Law of Requital oversees what you do. (For this' neither observe the law as a mere custom, nor try to evade it).
18. CUSTODY (OF CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS).
There is no specific injuction in the Holy Quran as to who will have custody of the underage children after the separation of their parents. The court can decide on it according to the prevailing circumstances. The principle that ought to be observed in this case is that neither the father nor the mother shall be put to unnecessary hardships. An inference can be drawn for this rule in the light of verse (2:233) described above. To achieve this objective the Islamic Government shall also decide as to who shall bear the expenses of the children, till they reach the age of maturity.
19. PROGENY.
a) Besides mutual companionship the basic object of married life is the augmentation of the human race. Even animals increase their progeny, but the case is different with man. A young animal needs nourishment, after which it becomes what it is destined to become. But a human child, in addition to sustenance, needs education and upbringing which lifts him from the stage of animal life to the stage of human life. Thus the parents undertake a dual responsibility. It is the duty of an Islamic State to frame laws for the purpose and make such arrangements that no child is deprived of sustenance, as well as education and upbringing. The Islamic State shall issue necessary guidance to the parents as to what extent their co-operation is required. The objective is that no child is left without the development of his human potentialities on account of negligence, ignorance, laziness, or mismanagement on the part of parents or an incompetent system of government. Every child shall be provided with an equal opportunity for upbringing. The Quran says: (17:31); (6:152) "Do not kill your offsprings for fear of being reduced to poverty."
Here killing does not actually mean putting to death. (Murder in itself is a crime, even if it is of one's own children). Here killing children means depriving them of proper education and upbringing. In this regard an Islamic State shall furnish surety that: (6:152) "We are responsible for your sustenance as well as that of your children."
Remember in an Islamic Social Order, providing the mans of sustenance is the foremost duty of the State.
b) A healthy, sound and sturdy child is a bounty from Allah Almighty (7:189-90) and an intelligent and a chaste youth, with a loving heart and subservient to the Divine Laws, is a 'Rahmat' from Him (19:12-14). In Surah 'As-Shoora' (42nd Chapter of the Quran) it is said: (42:49-50) "Allah Almighty is the Supreme Sovereign in the heavens and the earth, and the whole system of the universe functions under His Laws only; so much so that even the physical life of man is not excluded from its ambit. The astonishing Order of Creation including creation of man is controlled by His Laws. According to this Law He bestows some with girls, while others with boys and yet some with both boys and girls and some remain childless. All this takes place according to His Laws. He is replete with knowledge and full of power to control the destinies according to His measures and standards."
Thus whereas the creation of sex is controlled by the Divine Laws, to consider a girl inferior to a boy was a mentality peculiar to the Arabs of pre-Islamic days. Islam eradicated this. The Quran criticises it as follows: (16:58-59) "When news is brought to one of them of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens and he is filled with grief. (He thinks the birth of a female child so disgraceful that) he hides himself from his
people because of the bad news he received. He begins to think whether he should suffer this contempt or bury the new born alive in the dust Ah! What an evil choice they decide on their innocent girls!"
c) Wives and children have been made means of elegance in life by Allah; thus they are worthy of the parents' kind attention: (3:13) "Love for women and children has been made fair-seeming for people."
Yet one must not commit any act for their sake, which goes against the Divine Laws and the Permanent Values ordained by Allah. (See 63:4; 8:28; 64:14-15). If one does that it becomes a sedition for him. Thus whenever there is a tie between a particular benefit for the wife and children on the one hand, and a Quranic Value on the other, the Quranic Values shall be given preference:
It is said in Surah "At-Taubah" (9th Chapter of the Quran); (9:24) "(O Rasool)! Say unto these people that if it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your spouses or your kindred, or the wealth which you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a slump, or the dwellings in which you delight, are dearer to you than Allah Almighty and His Rasool (i.e. dearer than the establishment and maintenance of the Divine System); wait until the results of such a behaviour become manifest unto you according to the Divine Law. Remember Allah Almighty guides not those who, leaving aside the right path, go astray."
It is so, because offsprings relate only to the physical life of man, they have no value against the Divine Law: (58:17) An unrighteous offspring is not even considered a member of one's family by the Quran. This has been explained in the story of Noah in (11:45-46).
d) As long as the children are under the care and upbringing of their parents, they should act under the parents' guidance, but when they are capable of deciding their own affairs they should begin to act as such. The maxim "To obey the parent is a duty" that has not been ordained by the Quran. The Quran has repeatedly asked only to do good to the parents (4:36) .
The Quran states: (36:68) "If We grant long life to any, We reduce him to an abject state in creation". Man begins to forget what already was in his knowledge. (16:70) As such his condition becomes pitiable. Therefore he shall be treated gently and not rebuked. Thus it is said in Surah Bani-Israel (17th Chapter of the Quran): (17:23-24) "Thy 'Rabb' has decreed that you should be subservient to none but Allah: (be subservient only to the Divine Law). Further it is ordained that you be kind to parents, whether one or both of them attain old age in your life. Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. When they were youthful and active, they provided you with sustenance (in addition to their own); now they have become old and are not capable of earning. It is your duty to make good their deficiency."
Give them protection with all the affection (as they did when you were young) and say: my Rabb! Enable me to provide them with means of nourishment as they had cherished me in my childhood.
(To look after the young is even practised by the lower animals, but the practice of looking after the parents in old age is peculiar only to a human being. That is why he has been instructed as such.)
But if the parents are following a wrong path, it must be brought to their notice. This has been made clear in the story of Abraham: (19:41-45)
e) It is essential for an Islamic Government neither to leave the small children at uncared for the mercy of their parents, nor to leave the aged parents uncared for and dependent on their offsprings to the extent that they become the object of scorn and degradation. For this an Islamic State ought to provide proper guidance and make the necessary arrangements.
20. Orphans.
The basic meaning of the word "Yateem" (orphan) is the one who somehow or other is left alone and helpless in society; he may be of any age. But in the context of the subject under discussion, "Yateem" shall mean the children whose father (or both parents) have died. The provision of sustenance, education and upbringing of such children is the responsibility of an Islamic State. But the question is not of upbringing alone: the real problem is that they should be brought up in such a manner that the dignity of their 'self' does not get injured. To keep such children in orphanages, fed on charity, is the destruction of their human 'self'. This leads to the downfall of nations. In Surah 'Al-Fajr' (89th Chapter of the Quran) it is said that one of the reasons for the destruction of nations in that they do not treat orphans with honour: (89:17) . Thus the real question is the cultivation of their self-respect. They should not be brought under undue pressure: (93:9) .
A satisfactory arrangement for their proper nurturing is essential. They should be treated as your own brethren: (2:220) "They ask thee about orphans. Say: settling their problems is a deed that produces 'good'. Hence you live together and if during the period of mutual living you have but to conduct their affairs with your own, always keep in mind that they are your brethren. Allah Almighty knows which of you means their good and which of you creates mischief. You are being given such instructions because without it you could have fallen into difficulties; but Allah Almighty wants to make things easy for you."
This provision of facilities does not mean that you go on doing what you like without any hindrance.
Allah's Law of Requital is exalted in power, yet it is based on wisdom.
Their wealth and property, if there be any, must be protected with utmost care. The one managing their affairs, if he is wealthy enough, should not take any remuneration; but if he is needy, he can take a compensation for it. When they reach the age of maturity and they become capable of handling their own affairs, their wealth and property should be handed over to them in the presence of witnesses: (4:5-6) "Remember! Allah Almighty has made wealth, the mainstay of a nation's economy, therefore place it not in the custody of those who are weak of understanding; feed them and clothe them therewith and speak to them words f kindness and justice."
Also make arrangements for the upbringing of orphans; and keep checking as to how far their potentialities are developed, until they reach the marriageable age. (6:153; 17:34; 40:67). If then you find them of sound judgement, deliver their property over to them. [But if they are not fit for it yet, act according to (4:5)]. But in the meantime do not consume their property wastefully, nor in a haste, fearing that they shall demand it when they become grown up. If the guardian is well off, let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have what is just and reasonable. When you release their fortune to them, take witnesses. While counting, keep it in mind that you are submitting the account to Allah Almighty who knows what is hidden as well as manifest; therefore He is the Best of all those who take account.
This point has been emphasised further in (6:153) and (17:37).
Do not take a single pence from their wealth unlawfully. It has been ordained in Surah An-Nisa (4th Chapter of the Quran): (4:2) "According to this law no difference remains between your own children and the orphans, therefore take care of their rights and benefits like those of your own offsprings. Keep their property safe with utmost care; do not exchange (your) worthless things for their good ones; do not eat up their assets, keep their assets separate from yours; embezzlement in their substance (by mixing it up with your own) is most unjust. One who is left alone in the society, he ought to be helped rather than his rights usurped."
It is said further: (4:10) "Those who unjustly eat up the property of the orphans, they are filling their bellies with fire which leaves their passions of greed ablaze". They being always dissatisfied, run after unlawful wealth like a lunatic and thus put their own potentialities into a blazing fire.
If widows and orphans are left behind in society, marrying more than one wife may be allowed by making exception to the law of monogamy, in order to give them a respectable place in society. (Details were given earlier).
For an Islamic State it is essential to frame necessary laws under the guidance of the Quran. According to the Arabic dialect, a boy is called "Yateem" (orphan) till he reaches the age of maturity; and a girl continues to be called an orphan till she gets married. Even widows can be included in the category of orphans. (4:127).
