6. POLYGAMY.
The Quran has prescribed monogamy (one wife at a time), as a matter of rule. In case of constancy becoming extremely difficult with the wife, (details shall be discussed under the heading 'Divorce'), a second wife is allowed in her place: (4:20) "And if you decide to take a wife in the place of another..."
Let it be made clear immediately that it does not mean that you are free to divorce your wife any time you like and bring another one in her place. The conditions under which divorce can be resorted to are being described in a separate chapter. Monogamy; is the principle laid down by the Quran. But if any particular circumstances crop up in society (for example on account of war) when the number of widows and young girls increases and there is no satisfactory remedy for it is in view, the Islamic Government can allow a man to marry more than one woman (up to four) making an exception in the 'one wife' rule. But there are two essential conditions under which it can be allowed: firstly, that the man doing so can do justice with his wives; and secondly, that he is capable of supporting this large family. If any of these two conditions cannot be fulfilled, the second marriage is not allowed. Surah An-Nisa states: (4:3) "If ever such circumstances occur (for example on account of a war) that in the society men are lost (perished) and widows
and orphans (boys and girls) increase, especially women without husbands (4:127) and an equitable and just solution cannot otherwise be found; under such circumstances it is allowed, for the sake of protection of these widows and orphans, that you can marry out of these women whom you like [those who are willing to marry you (4:19)]. For this purpose exception is given in the principle of 'one wife at a time'. In such an event, as the circumstances require and as the society decides, two or three, or four wives at a time, can be taken in marriage. But if you feel that in so doing you shall not be able to keep the scales of justice balanced amongst the different family members, then one man and one wife shall remain the law or the female slaves that you already possess (have brought in your Nikaah). After the advent of Islam, the custom of acquiring captives was abolished. In respect of possessing female captives, the words "you already possess", are to be taken special note of. Limiting to one wife is a much better course to avoid injustice in the family and to avoid additional encumbrance due to abundance of progeny.
This is the only verse in the Quran that allows polygamy and, as can be observed, it is conditional: "if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, then only one wife is allowed". Without the occurrence of this condition, polygamy is disallowed. Let it be made clear that the word is not limited to mean only orphan boys and girls; the unmarried girls and women are also included in it. (see Lughatul-Quran). In the Quran itself you find the word (4:127) i.e. orphan (widow) women. As regards the condition of maintaining 'justice' it is not possible in this respect. Here justice means that you do not become so deeply inclined towards one wife that the other is left unattended to and uncured for! (4:129)
"Remember that under the circumstances explained in verse (4:3), when you marry more than one wife you shall have to deal with them justly. As far as love and affection is concerned, it is impossible to deal with different wives equally. You will not be able to dos so, no matter how much you desire it, because such things are related to emotions and equality in sentiments is just not possible. Here the 'justice' which is aimed at and which is possible, is that you do not become so much devoted to one wife that the other remains totally neglected. However, in social matters deal with them on the basis of equality. This shall meet the demand of justice according to the Divine Law; and by so doing you shall be protected against the pernicious effects of emotional inbalance. The Divine Law in this manner makes room for your protection and nourishment."
Remember that when a nation feels the urgency to solve the problem of widows and orphans, the women also shall take equal part in this decision; men alone shall not decide it. It shows that even under the extraordinary circumstances the consent of the first wife shall be mandatory, otherwise the home shall turn into a hell.
Except under the circumstances described above a second wife is not allowed.
7. FEMALE CAPTIVES.
During the period when the Quran was revealed, the slaves (captives), both men and women, were part of the Arab society. The Quran closed the door of slavery, and captive women who were part of the household, were either made a part of the respective families (were taken into wed-lock) or were gradually freed. The words whenever they occur in the Quran, mean 'those captive women who were present in those days.' Now the question of slave women does not arise.
8. FACILITATIONS FOR MARRIAGE.
The society ought to provide facilities to those who possess competence for marriage. The Quran addresses the Islamic society by saying: (24:32) "Make proper arrangement for the marriage of those men or women who have not got the adequate facilities for marriage."
But to get married is not an injunction; it is not necessary that men or women "must" get married. Those who wish to lead an unmarried life and for whom the means to get married are not available, should control their passions (abstain): (24:33) "Those who prefer a celibate life or have not the wherewithal for marriage, should exercise self-control."
During a state of extreme hunger, the Holy Quran has allowed the eating of unlawful things (according to need), but has not allowed fornication or adultery to satisfy one's sexual passions. Obviously man does not possess control over hunger, but on the other hand sexual urges are purely thought-motivated. Therefore the question of sexual constraint (helplessness) does not arise. An Islamic Society creates an environment in which sexual stimulations are least liable to occur.
9. SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
Sexual intercourse is prohibited under the following conditions:
a) During menstruation;
b) While fasting, however, it is permitted during nights, in the month of Ramadaan (before the start and after termination of the "fast");
c) While one is "in retreat" (I'tikaaf) in the mosques. (during the month of Ramadaan).
10. OBJECT OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
The Quran says: (2:223) "Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilths when you so desire."
This brings forth an important fact: one goes to the tilth in order to sow the seeds, therefore the object of sexual intercourse ought to be the augmentation of human race, not pleasure alone. This augmentation ought to be thoughtfully planned; it should not only meet personal requirements but also collective social exigencies. 'Approach the tilth' means, that you have sexual intercourse when you desire to have a child. This system (of controlled mating) prevails in nature. At yet another place the words (4:24) have been used for it; which means that the object of marriage is fortification of your procreative energies within the bounds of wedlock and not the mere satisfaction of your lust (not to let your semen flow out purposelessly).
However, this is our deduction from the verses of the Quran.
11. THE OBJECT OF MATRIMONIAL LIFE.
The object of matrimonial life is that a husband and a wife cultivate love and companionship, so as to make life tranquil at home (life of peace and solace); thus it is said: (30:21) "Among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and as such He has created such a deep relationship between yourselves, as a means of actualisation of potentialities for both of you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect."
As to how much concord is present in the relationship between husband and wife, the Quran has beautifully described a metaphor, when it is said: (2:187) "They are an apparel for you, and you are an apparel for them."
As far as the mutual rights and obligations are concerned, the Quran has condensed it in one comprehensive sentence when it said: (2:228) "The obligations of women shall be equal to their rights, one obligation against each right*."
It has been described earlier that in view of the duties incumbent upon women, on account of their biological structure, the responsibility of earning sustenance for them rests upon men (4:34).
The relationship also expand through marriages Relationships of marriage (in-laws) come into existence in addition to the relationship of lineage: (25:54)
"In it are included both relationships of lineage and of in-laws."
12. DOWER.
a) In Surah An-Nisa, after giving the details of those between whom marriage is unlawful, it is said: (4:24); (5:5) "Except such women, others are lawful provided you seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property."
The term "Mahr" (dower) is used for these gifts in Fiqh (jurisprudence).
The word "Mahr" does not occur in the Quran, instead the words "Ajoor" or "Saduqaah" have been used. The Quran has explained it further that (Mahr) is not a compensation for anything. This is a gift, without the concept of remuneration or reward. The Quran has also used the word "Nihlah" for it: (4:4) "And give the women (on marriage) their dower as free gift". In giving a "gift" is no concept of gain or compensation.
b) No amount for 'dower' has been stipulated by the Quran. Anything decided by mutual consent is "Mahr" but because its payment is essential, it has also been termed a 'duty' (Divine Command) (2:236-237), therefore it ought to be proportionate to one's economic status. In this connection guidance is also available in (2:236). It might expand to a heap of gold (4:20), In this verse Qintaar means a heap of gold.
c) The payment of dower ought to be made soon after Nikaah at the time of marriage. But it is evident from the verse 236 of Surah Al-Baqarah that an (Occasion may arise when the amount of dower could not be fixed at the time of marriage, In this verse it has been explained) (2:236)
"There is no blame on you if you divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower."
It means that if for some reason the amount of dower could not be fixed at the time of marriage, it can be determined later on.
d) Dower is the property of the woman; no one has the right to deprive her of this amount. However, a woman can remit a part thereof if she so desires. (4:4) "Pay the dower of your wives without any notion of a reward, like the honeybee giving her honey (there is no concept of reward in it). Since dower is a gift and not an exchange, woman cheerfully remits a part of it, you can by all means use it for yourself."
A little later in the same Surah has been said that the amount of dower can be altered by mutual consent. In the words of the Quran: (4:24) "But if you agree mutually to vary the dower after it has been prescribed, there is no blame on you."
e) After marriage if divorce occurs before consummation, then:
i) If dower has not been fixed, then the man ought to pay something according to his economic status. Surah Al-Baqarah says: [(2:236; 33:49)]
"There is no blame on you if you divorce women before consummation or the fixing of their 'dower', but bestow on them (a suitable gift), the wealthy according to his means: and the poor according to his means (so that the loss she has thus suffered may be made good to a certain extent); gift of reasonable amount is due form those who wish to do the right thing."
ii) If dower was fixed, half of it shall have to be paid; but if the woman or her agent so agrees, or if the court of law thinks it necessary under certain circumstances, it can also be remitted fully: (2:237)
"And if you divorce them before consummation, and the dower had been fixed, half of the dower (is due to them) unless they forgo it willingly; or it is remitted by him in whose hands is the marriage tie. And to forgo what is due to you is more near to Taqwa (adherence to Allah's Law). And forget not that you have to act with grace towards one another. Surly Allah Almighty sees all what you do."
Verse (2:237) should be kept in mind: "In whose hands is the marriage tie". It is often deduced from this that the marriage tie is in the hands of the husband, keeping in mind the common concept that only the man has a right to divorce. But in our viewpoint this deduction is not correct. We shall elaborate on that later. According to the Holy Quran the right to divorce belongs equally to the man as well as to the woman. Here the meaning of the words can mean the woman's agent in the court of law, or the court of law itself. (See also chapter on 'Talaaq'-Divorce).
f) If a woman is guilty of immodesty, something can be deducted from her dower: (4:19) "O you who believe! (As has been said in 4:3, that a man should exercise his choice in marrying a woman likewise the consent of woman is also necessary for marriage). You are forbidden to become masters of women forcibly (against their will, nor is it justifiable for you to keep them against their will with the intent of bargaining to recover a part of what you have paid them; this is not permitted except where they have been guilty of open immodesty". (In such a case the court can allow you a part of it).
It is apparent that a case like this can only be decided by the law-court.
g) If a woman demands divorce (and the court of law agrees), she shall have to pay something for it (2:229); it may not necessarily be out of the dower money. (This is only for reference sake; details shall come under the heading 'Divorce').
Note: (Dowry __ the paraphernalia of a bride __ is merely a custom which has not been ordained by the Quran. It is extremely unfair on the part of man to demand 'Jahez' (dowry). The Quran has ordained man to give something; not to take anything from the woman. (This is a HINDU custom which Muslims have appropriated!).
13. MAINTENANCE.
a) As has been stated earlier, the provision of sustenance of the wife is the responsibility of her husband (4:34). Therefore as long as she remains in his wedlock, he shall be responsible. This includes the place of residence as well.
b) During the waiting period of a divorced woman i.e. during Iddat, the above stated responsibility shall lie on the husband [(2:241); (65:1); (65:6-7)] except when she is guilty of immodesty (65:1). (Details shall be found under the heading "Iddat" _ waiting period of a divorced woman).
c) As regards a widow, the responsibility for her maintenance still lies on the man for a period of one year. Therefore he ought to leave a will for her; but this responsibility remains no more if and when she leaves the home of the deceased husband of her own free will. (Details shall be given under the heading 'Inheritance').
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